Nicole Fabian-Weber published an article with title 5 Reasons You Aren’t ‘Fine’ if You Were Spanked as a Child
The article ended up by 400 comments by the time the article reached me. Obviously something people cannot agree on And obviously everybody can add something to the story.
To spank or not to spank? That is the question.
Unfortunately, there is no simple answer. Oh, certainly, there is one. The overwhelming majority will say “not to”.
But can you claim you never did it? Not even thought about it? Hmmm…
In that case, well, finally one saint is reading my blog
The thing is, everybody will agree there should be another way to solve conflicts and establish (the necessary minimum of) obedience.
By necessary minimum I mean things like you want your kids to listen to you when you tell them to stay on the walkway instead of crossing the road when cars are approaching. A sensible time to listen to your parents, isn’t it?
Nicole is listing the consequences if you spank your children, whatever reasons you had to do so.
After reading her article, I have to say that on hand she is listing 5 reasons but on the other hand only two.
She says that spanking will make children more aggressive. Spot on! Children watch you and you are their teacher. Any behavior that you demonstrate will be copied. Without questioning.
Is spanking a form of violence? You bet it is. And children will remember a lot more how you made them feel than what you said.
For a child you – the parent – a semi-god and everything at that time – caused pain. The child might not even understand (which it mostly won’t) why the punishment came. You just lost credit and shown violence as an acceptable way to solve problems or even worse – when the child does not understand your reasons – to be used at will.
If you think about it, all the future implications of spanking listed by Nicole have a common denominator. Fear and inability to take your life into your own hands.
Obesity, depression, anxiety, alcoholism and addictions are just a few of symptoms. The real thing is that your child is broken… With broken trust, heart and self image.
Now, I don’t have a license on turning people into saints, but for myself I know. I will never spank a child. Will you?
Read the full article of Nicole Fabian-Weber at cafemom.com
So now, if spanking is no option, what do you do? Look around here at How To Play With Kids where I have already listed a few ways how to play with kids. Some of these will help you to solve the puzzle as some of the games put you in control of the situation without using violence.
And if that’s not enough, come back later. I will be posting another article which should help you to control your tempers and play with your kids instead of causing irreversible damage. That’s worth another visit, isn’t it?