How To Play With Kids

Every single child is creative.
We probably cannot match them in this but we can do our best to keep up with them. Look what October Jones did.

You can have the same kind of fun yourself with your kids on a long journey in a train or an airplane. (Please, please, don’t tell anyone I came up with that idea! )

What you will need is to print out (or draw if you are good enough at that) a few notoriously famous comics characters on a small piece of paper – travel version small enough to comfortably take with you but big enough to do the trick.

One like this can make your long journey just a tiny bit shorter

Kids are driven by curiosity. That’s perfectly ok as long as you are not cooking or baking. Curiosity will drive them to the oven and they will do anything possible and everything impossible to touch the hot parts of the oven or open the door and peek inside. You can fight it but under normal circumstances if you have more than one child, they will keep trying and ultimately drive you crazy. They will win. They will get to the oven and they will burn their fingers.
Well, they will unless…
Unless they already know what is “hot” like.
Or unless you find something else that will attract them more.
The bad news is: they see you cooking every day and they learn by repeating what they see. They are bound to repeat also this activity whether you like it or not. They want to know what’s cooking like.
Pencils won’t do.
Play dough won’t do.
And Lego won’t do.

So you have a choice, face the damage when they discover what’s hot like, let them drive you crazy or drive them through the process of cooking.
I prefer the last alternative.

So how to play this cooking game with kids?
Today we played it together. Myself and two kids. While impossible or net practical in real life, I had two chefs.
I let them cook. Don’t get me wrong, they did not touch the hot pans. Instead:
They brought everything they wanted to cook and I approved or disapproved some of the ingredients.
They could stir (not both at the same time and only with a very long spoon).
They could smell all the spices (turned out to be a lot of fun and small discoveries).
They could measure – if you can call it measure – and add salt.
They could tell me when to add more water.
They could tell me what they like and what they don’t.
They could taste and test if everything is as it should.
And they had a lot of fun and so did I. A lot better than frustration you get when you are chasing kids away from the kitchen.

So… what are you cooking tonight? And how can you involve your kids in the process?
Happy cooking!

It is funny how easily you can come up with a reasonable excuse. An excuse which will be perfectly valid, applicable and very often extremely innovative.

I am not talking about “hey, I am too tired to take out the thrash”. I am talking about the “my dog ate my notebook which had my homework in it”.

Just try it. Pick any activity you don’t feel like doing right now. Go ahead pick one.
Now sit back comfortably and you have 60 seconds to come up with three excuses why it is ok to skip the activity you want to avoid.

If you did that and you ended up with at least one excuse you have a creative mind. Now. We all knew you do, right? But don’t get me wrong, that’s not all.

We do not only make up excuses on the fly to avoid doing this or that. We also make them up pretty quickly when we have to find reasons why something did not get done – just like the example with the homework I mentioned – and give the reasons to someone else while still keeping a bit of our credibility.

I’m sure you can remember some when the credibility got dented, if only a little. Not every excuse is as good as any other

We can only laugh at some of the excuses of our kids and the teachers probably spend entire evenings throwing excuses they heard from the kids in the class at each other and ending with a terrible belly pain the next morning.

So there’s excuses we make up for ourselves, there’s excuses we make up for the people around us and there is yet another type of excuse. The most tricky, the most dangerous, the most deadly and the most sneaky. It’s an excuse made up by our mind without even telling us. And applied. With immediate effect.

Do you remember at least one occasion when you suddenly realized that you did not go to the gym for a month now? And you did not even know why? You just “felt deep inside” it was ok to stop going there? But you did not make the decision, you just did not go anymore.

Well… that’s the one.

Now, why am I talking about all of this here? Because recently I heard one excuse too many time. It was “I’m not creative”. A very good excuse. Self fulfilling. One that you invented yourself or one that your mind invented for you and you’re now stuck with it as if this was a stone hard fact. (sorry about this unusual expression but you know, I am creative

If you came up with at least one excuse in the exercise above and if you are now making up excuses why what I am writing here is not true or not applicable to you, guess what. You are creative So now, be creative and let your creativity shine in front of your kids today!

Now consider this. If this is how your kids see you, what kind of influence do you have on them? Huh???
Time to change this.

Jim Higley posted and interesting article with the title Nearly 25 Years of Fathering — and All I’ve Got Are These 3 Lousy Tips.

I have to say that I can only agree with him on all three tips he gave. But I cannot agree that these tips are lousy
There are only a few people around you who are natural at all three and the rest of us has to learn them. And start using them. And then get used to use them automatically. And then catch yourself not using them again and start all over

Luckily, I think that most of the fathers are close to natural talents at number three. Why?

Go to an attraction park. Look at how mothers deal with “the first time” on that ladder and then look how fathers handle it. Sure there will be exceptions yet fathers seem to give more freedom to the kids and let them experience the “dangerous” things as well without being “overprotective”.
If you think about it, if you let your very young kids face the danger instead of building the habit of fear inside, you are just a step away from supporting your kids later in their life emotionally and in their interaction with the social world they will live in later without solving the problem yourself or giving them unsolicited advice. And the last one nobody likes to receive, right?

In any case, let me repeat the three tips:
Don’t react immediately to every problem but give yourself time for thinking.
Don’t lecture if you cannot fix it with a lecture withing 30 seconds.
Don’t solve everything for them and instead offer your support.

Interesting that all start with Don’t. Maybe I should rewrite them as “do”s?

Give yourself time for thinking to avoid overreacting.
Their attention span is about 30 seconds, that’s all the time you have when you want to tell them something important.
Offer emotional support instead of solving their problems for them.

Better isn’t it?

As your children grow a bit older, you will have no choice but introduce them to the world of money.
How would you do it?
Would you buy one of the Monopoly games?

Would you tell them about the famous Cashflow from Robert Kiyosaki and help them to break out from the rat race?

Well, whatever you do, recent research (drop it into google translate for better readability ;-)) shows that you might have a lot more influence on the relationship your children have with money than you think.

82% of the students talk with parents about money every month
You might not even notice it. You might not even know that you do. Yet you are teaching them how to use money, what it is, where to get it and how to handle it emotionally.

53% of the students say “my parents help me to save”
Do you keep the change in your pockets just to give it to your children? Make the money feel real. Let them touch it, play with it and put it into the

70% of the students learn how to use internet banking from their parents
Where else? Yes, they can learn it from their friends but obviously they have a preference

Now that you know that you have big influence on future money habits and success of your kids what are you going to do with it? Take that chance. Educate them. Prepare them for this world. And share this challenge with other parents.

Savings Goal ATM Bank – click to buy at Amazon.com

Like comics? This is a good one I bet you will like it. Check it out.
A year of parenting

Do you still remember how to make paper snowflakes from your childhood?
Well, if you don’t or you weren’t as lucky as me and did not make these cool creations at school as a kid, here is how:
Fold a sheet of paper and use scissors to cut the paper using one of the templates.

Look at the pictures (published in a book by Frechverlag GmbH), each one of these shows a different snowflake model.

Tip: ask your kids if they can come up with their own snowflake design.
Tip: hang the snowflakes created by your kids on the X-mass tree. They will feel satisfaction, feel them self and their work being valued and you in turn can be proud of them as well.

Say a big group of kids full of energy is close to the point of driving you crazy. What do you do?
Take them into the biggest room you have or outside. A closed/fenced space with fresh air is best. Your garden will do.
Tell the kids you will be driving motorcycles and let them imagine they have one. You can ask supporting questions such as
“What color of a bike do you have?”
“Which brand did you pick?”
“Does it have mirrors, lights, is it cross or just the normal one?”
Tell the kids to start their imaginary motorcycle. At the same time demonstrate doing so with your own hands. (For those of you who don’t have a motorbike, you give gas by turning the handles) and don’t forget to make a lot of motorbike-like noise.
When everybody seems to be happy with their choice and engines are running, instruct them to start running with their hands in front of them as if they have been riding a motorbike and stop when they hear the word “Red”. Keep your noise demonstration going. You would say for instance:
“Okay, everybody started? Go!”
The kids will start running around the garden (in circles). Let them run for a couple of seconds and then say (or yell depending on circumstances) “Red light!”
When everybody stopped, comment on the motorcycle engines which died (if any did) and ask them to start again. Once everybody is started their engine again, say “Green”. Repeat the signals “Red” and “Green” as long as it still seems to be fun.
You can include other things you normally encounter in traffic. Like a traffic jam – small leaps forward and then short stops, crossing pedestrians or, and this one will be met with a lot of laughter if you play the role of the animals, crossing ducks.

It’s both fun and educational. Kids will easily learn the meaning of the green and red light and leverage this knowledge when they enter the real traffic.

Nicole Fabian-Weber published an article with title 5 Reasons You Aren’t ‘Fine’ if You Were Spanked as a Child
The article ended up by 400 comments by the time the article reached me. Obviously something people cannot agree on And obviously everybody can add something to the story.

To spank or not to spank? That is the question.
Unfortunately, there is no simple answer. Oh, certainly, there is one. The overwhelming majority will say “not to”.
But can you claim you never did it? Not even thought about it? Hmmm…
In that case, well, finally one saint is reading my blog

The thing is, everybody will agree there should be another way to solve conflicts and establish (the necessary minimum of) obedience.
By necessary minimum I mean things like you want your kids to listen to you when you tell them to stay on the walkway instead of crossing the road when cars are approaching. A sensible time to listen to your parents, isn’t it?

Nicole is listing the consequences if you spank your children, whatever reasons you had to do so.
After reading her article, I have to say that on hand she is listing 5 reasons but on the other hand only two.

She says that spanking will make children more aggressive. Spot on! Children watch you and you are their teacher. Any behavior that you demonstrate will be copied. Without questioning.
Is spanking a form of violence? You bet it is. And children will remember a lot more how you made them feel than what you said.

For a child you – the parent – a semi-god and everything at that time – caused pain. The child might not even understand (which it mostly won’t) why the punishment came. You just lost credit and shown violence as an acceptable way to solve problems or even worse – when the child does not understand your reasons – to be used at will.

If you think about it, all the future implications of spanking listed by Nicole have a common denominator. Fear and inability to take your life into your own hands.
Obesity, depression, anxiety, alcoholism and addictions are just a few of symptoms. The real thing is that your child is broken… With broken trust, heart and self image.

Now, I don’t have a license on turning people into saints, but for myself I know. I will never spank a child. Will you?

Read the full article of Nicole Fabian-Weber at cafemom.com

So now, if spanking is no option, what do you do? Look around here at How To Play With Kids where I have already listed a few ways how to play with kids. Some of these will help you to solve the puzzle as some of the games put you in control of the situation without using violence.
And if that’s not enough, come back later. I will be posting another article which should help you to control your tempers and play with your kids instead of causing irreversible damage. That’s worth another visit, isn’t it?